Comprehensive Immigration Reform for America’s Security and Prosperity Act of 2009, the Comprehensive Immigration Reform ASAP Act of 2009, or the CIR ASAP Act of 2009 – Directs the Secretary of Homeland Security (DHS) (Secretary) to: (1) develop and submit to Congress a National Strategy for Border Security; (2) increase the number of Customs and Border Protection officers, agriculture specialists, and border security support personnel, and enhance related equipment, assets, and technology; (3) develop a comprehensive land and maritime border surveillance plan, including aerial and integrated surveillance demonstration programs; (4) issue a rule for electronic device searches and related agent training; (5) improve coordination efforts to combat human smuggling; (6) establish a Border Communities Liaison Office in every Border Patrol sector at the southern and northern borders; (7) carry out a ports of entry technology demonstration program; and (8) establish a Southern Border Security Task Force. Authorizes appropriations for border security improvements at U.S. ports of entry. Authorizes border relief grants for tribal, state, or local law enforcement and related agencies in proximity to the border or in a designated High Intensity Drug Trafficking Area. Provides reimbursement for state and county prosecutors in border states for prosecuting federally initiated and referred drug cases. Suspends the Operation Streamline program pending an evaluation of its viability. Expands resources for Project Gunrunner and for Operation Armas Cruzadas along the U.S.-Mexico border. Establishes the United States-Mexico Border Enforcement Commission. Prohibits the U.S. Armed Forces, including the National Guard, from assisting in non-emergency federal, state, local, and civilian law enforcement of immigration laws. Directs the Secretaries of DHS, Interior, Agriculture, Defense, and Commerce to develop: (1) a land border protection strategy; and (2) a borderlands environmental monitoring plan. Provides for: (1) enhanced border cooperation with Mexico; and (2) expansion of Customs-Trade Partnership Against Terrorism programs. Sets forth detention conditions. Directs the Secretary to appoint an Immigration Detention Commission. Sets forth provisions regarding: (1) immigration enforcement protections; (2) unlawful detentions; (3) protections for vulnerable populations; (4) apprehension procedures for families and family detention; (5) welfare requirements for children separated from detained or removed parents; (6) unaccompanied alien children; and (7) female detainees. Provides a stay of removal and work authorization for detained alien workers who are witnesses or necessary for workplace prosecution claims. Eliminates, with specified exceptions, DHS authority to enter into agreements with state and local law enforcement agencies to perform immigration law enforcement functions. Establishes in DHS an Immigration and Customs Enforcement Ombudsman. Eliminates the one-year asylun filing requirement. Provides for federal court review of DHS orders of removal currently exempt from such review. Establishes an alien employment verification system which requires employers to comply with: (1) document verification requirements; and (2) a phased-in electronic employment verification system. Sets forth backlog reduction provisions respecting family-sponsored and employment-based immigrant levels. Revises the definition of “immediate relative” to: (1) include the spouse and child of a lawful permanent resident; and (2) permit a qualifying widow/widower and the child or parent of a U.S. citizen or lawful permanent resident to maintain such status while filing for permanent resident status. Increases: (1) per-country limits for family-sponsored and employment-based immigrants; and (2) specified family-unity exceptions to unlawful presence-based inadmissibility. Prohibits the removal from the United States of an individual who: (1) fled his or her homeland while under the age of 12 years old; and (2) was later admitted to the United States as a refugee, parolee, or asylee. Exempts the sons and daughters of certain naturalized Filipino World War II veterans from worldwide or numerical immigrant visa limits. Makes a minor child of an alien fiancee/fiance or of an alien spouse of a U.S. citizen eligible for derivative K-visa status under specified circumstances. Redefines “child” to include a stepchild under 21 years old. Amends the Haitian Refugee Immigration Fairness Act of 1998 to: (1) require determinations with respect to children to be made using the age and status of an individual on October 21, 1998; and (2) permit an application based upon child status to be filed by a parent or guardian if the child is present in the United States on such filing date. Permits new status adjustment applications to be filed for a limited time period. Reduces the required support level for immigrant sponsorship. Establishes the Prevent Unauthorized Migration Visa (PUM Visa) program which shall provide for: (1) 100,000 PUM conditional permanent resident visas annually, for three years, to persons from countries (transitional visa admission states) which represent at least 5% of the total unauthorized migration population to the United States for the past five years; and (2) a process to adjust to permanent resident status. Exempts specified categories of U.S.-educated aliens from employment-based immigration limits. Permits a nonimmigrant alien whose employer has petitioned for an employment-based green card for such alien to file an application for adjustment of status regardless of whether an immigrant visa is immediately available. (Requires visa availability before such application may be approved.) Return of Talent Act – Establishes the Return of Talent Program to permit an eligible alien (and certain family members) to return to the alien’s country of citizenship for up to two years in order to contribute to such country’s postconflict or natural disaster reconstruction activities. (During such absence the alien and family members shall be considered to be continuously present and residing in the United States for naturalization purposes.) Establishes a conditional nonimmigrant status for qualifying aliens and their dependents who are illegally present or out of status in the United States and who register and meet the requirements for such status. Authorizes: (1) adjustment from conditional to permanent resident status at the earlier of six years after enactment of this Act or 30 days after specified immigrant visas become available (with exceptions to such time frame for certain students, military personnel, and employed individuals); and (2) naturalization three years after permanent resident status adjustment. Agricultural Job Opportunities, Benefits, and Security Act of 2009 or the AgJOBS Act of 2009 – Confers “blue card status” upon an alien who: (1) during the 24-month period ending on December 31, 2008, has performed specified lengths of, or earned a specified amount from, agricultural employment in the United States; (2) applied for such status during the 18-month application period; (3) is otherwise admissible to the United States; and (4) has not been convicted of specified felonies or misdemeanors. Limits the number of blue cards that may be issued during the five-year period beginning on the date of the enactment of this Act. Provides for adjustment of blue card status to permanent resident status based upon completed periods of agricultural employment. Revises H-2A visa (agricultural labor or temporary or seasonal services) provisions. Replaces the existing labor certification requirement with a labor attestation requirement containing: (1) a description of the nature and location of the job; (2) the job’s expected beginning and ending dates; (3) the number of jobs; and (4) specified labor assurances respecting job opportunities covered by collective bargaining agreements and non-covered job opportunities. Establishes: (1) the Commission on Immigration and Labor Markets; and (2) the Security and Prosperity Account in the Treasury. Requires each State Workforce Agency (SWA) to establish an Internet-based American Worker Recruit and Match program. Requires employers and foreign labor contractors to provide workers recruited abroad with specified employment-related information. Amends H-1B visa (specialty occupation) employer application requirements to: (1) revise wage determination requirements; (2) require Internet posting and description of employment positions; (3) lengthen U.S. worker displacement protection; (4) apply certain requirements to all H-1B employers rather than only to H-1B dependent employers; (5) prohibit employer advertising that makes a position available only to, or gives priority to, H-1B nonimmigrants; and (6) limit the number of H-1B and L-1 visa (intracompany transfer) employees that an employer of 50 or more workers in the United States may hire. Authorizes the Department of Labor (DOL) to: (1) investigate applications for fraud; and (2) conduct H-1B compliance audits. Prohibits an employer from hiring an L-1 nonimmigrant for more than one year who will: (1) serve in a capacity involving specialized knowledge; and (2) be stationed primarily at the worksite of another employer. Specifies L-1: (1) employer petition requirements for employment at a new office; (2) wage rates and working conditions; and (3) employer penalties. Authorizes: (1) DOL to enforce federal labor laws with respect to employers of H-2B nonagricultural temporary workers; and (2) a private right of action against such employers. Specifies employer actions to recruit U.S. workers prior to filing for H-2B admissions. Sets forth H-2B and U.S. worker protections. Amends EB-5 visa (alien investor) provisions to: (1) increase EB-5 eligibility; (2) make the regional center program permanent; (3) establish $2,500 regional center designation and premium processing fees; (4) permit concurrent filing for EB-5 petitions and status adjustment applications; (5) establish in the Treasury the Immigrant Entrepreneur Regional Center Account; and (6) increase employment creation-related visas. Revises provisions regarding: (1) immigration service fees; (2) the naturalization age-based English language proficiency exemption; and (3) citizenship application background checks. Establishes the New Americans Initiative grants program to to assist lawful permanent resident aliens to become citizens. Authorizes grants for: (1) public education and community training regarding the provisions of this Act; (2) community-based organizations to assist naturalization applicants (initial entry, adjustment, and citizenship assistance grants); and (3) states to form New American Councils. Provides for the naturalization of certain graduates of U.S. high schools who are under 25 years of age on the date of application for naturalization. Establishes: (1) a tax credit and a deduction for certification expenses for teachers of English language learners; and (2) a tax credit for employer-provided adult English literacy and basic education programs. Makes funds available for oath of allegiance ceremonies.